Hello Everyone,
My name is Suja and I am the youngest daughter of Thankamma and Victor Mathi. I wanted to put together this memorial site for my mother to celebrate my mother’s life.
On this memorial site you will find her life sketch, pictures and stories about her from her grandchildren.
My mother was almost 86 years old when she died and she lived a full and happy life.
I have had the privilege of living with my mother for almost my entire life. Right after I was married in 1997, Roger and I lived about 20 minutes away from my parents, but I was eager to move back to be near my parents and by 1999, I purchased a home, just a 5 minute walk away from them. Somehow, this wasn’t good enough for me, so my parents and I decided to build a house together and we have lived in one household since the end of 2001.
If I were to look back at my childhood, I would remember my mother working. She was either at the hospital on a shift as a nurse, or in the kitchen cooking or in the house cleaning. When I was little, our kitchen telephone had one of those long curly cords and it was big enough to reach around our small kitchen so she would often be talking with some friends or family while she cooked or washed dishes. Other times she would listen to the radio for current news or play some tapes of old Malayalam songs. She like music and often teased that I got my musical talents from her.
One of my dearest memories of my mother was when I was in Grade 7. I was attending Crawford Adventist Academy and my choir teacher asked me to do a solo for the Spring Concert. This was my first official solo experience – dressed up at a concert. It was a big deal for me. My parents always worked opposite shifts at the hospital so someone was always home with the family. On the night of the concert, my father off, but my mother was doing the evening shift and couldn’t switch it with anyone. I was disappointed. I really wanted her to see my solo debut. Since her workplace was only a 3 minute walk from the school, she assured me that she would come over on her break and see some of the concert.
The concert went on as scheduled and I kept scanning the back of the auditorium for my mom . We didn’t have cell phones and instant messages so that I could inform her of the exact minute when I was singing. I just had to hope and pray that she would come at the right time and then just moments before I sang, my mother came in to the auditorium and I was so happy.
I sang Somewhere Over The Rainbow for the whole auditorium. I received a standing ovation but all I could remember was how happy I was that my mother was there.
To put it simply, my mother was a good lady. She was unbelievably devoted to my father. He suffered with many health problems over his life and she took such loving care of him for 54 years. She can only be described by positive words – kind, generous, loving, patient. She was never one to gossip or get in the middle of anyone’s drama. She treated everyone with kindness and respect, never showing anyone that she thought she was better or above them any way.
My mother became paralyzed and lost her ability to walk about 4 years ago. This condition came on very suddenly and everyone, especially my mother, had to quickly adapt to the situation. I was grateful that my mother and I still shared a home and that I could be there for her. This was the first time in her life that she needed physical help.
When I was growing up, I used to hate my shoulders. They are very large for a girl and I used to envy girls who were built a little more delicately than I was. After my mother was paralyzed, I had to physically lift her in and out of her bed and wheelchair several times a day. She would often express concern that I was going to hurt myself and “was she too heavy” and “be careful Suja”. It was then that I thanked God for my sturdy shoulders – I never knew how much I would need them.
When my father was on his death bed, he told me to look after Ma. I might not have been perfect, but I can say that I did my best. I hope that I honored his last request.
I am going to miss my mother. My children and all her grandchildren are going to miss their Ammachi. My parents are both at rest. They fought the good fight, they finished the race and they kept the faith. Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning. I am looking forward to the day when I see my parents again.